May 24, 1948
I can't believe it; I've lived in two different places since coming here and now I'm going to a third. You'd think Mrs. Davidson would have understood. In know I should have called before going out to look for Max, but he had RUN AWAY, we had to move quickly, and it's not like there are telephones on the beach anyway. What was I supposed to do? It seems like Mrs. Davidson already wanted to get rid of me. Maybe she's just using it as an excuse for me to leave. There was that time the other day when she was eager to get me out of the house... but why? Kicked out of two homes; am I doing something wrong? Is it me? All the others-Danny and Sylie and Kurt and all the other survivors who came to Vancouver- they all seem to be fine. Is there something wrong with me? Am I really- what did she call it- incorrigable?
I'm sure I'm a huge pain to Mrs. Karr; no one wants me and I've left two places already. She has to deal deal me, it's her job and I'm already here in Canada, but; oh, I feel so unwanted! She probably doesn't have any idea what to do with me. No one wants me and I have to go somewhwere, so that's why I have to go away to live with a sick man in New Westminster.
And now I'm going to have to give up school. What was the point of applying to Canada, going through all those tests and forms and everying, waiting for agess for before knowing I'd made it; if now I can't learn, can't become anything? I might as well go back to Europe.
I'm sure the actually job itself won't be bad, but-well- that's not what I came here for. I came to batter myself, to have a life I couldn't have had back where I came from. Is it just luck, or was I fated to live in to different places that just didn't want me, so that that could never happen? If so, why me? What have I done?
They just don't understand here that we've been through so much that fourteen-year-olds here in Canada haven't. You had to be strong, to live throught the camps; you had to look out for yourself and they simply don't get that here. Mrs. Chandler and Mrs Davidson both tried to completely control my life. I can't handle that. I haven't had anyone loking after me like that for years.
On a different subject... I wonder how Feyla is doing now. It was on the radio just recently- right before Max went missing, in fact- that there is now a country within Palestine only for Jews. It is called Israel. I'm sure that's where Feyla is now. I really wish she hadn't been to old to apply for Canada; she could be here now, instead of halway around the world.
Alright; I'll start off with what I think was good.
ReplyDeleteThe way you strung the words together was very informative, and it works for Lilli. It goes into her past, present, and contemplation of her future. In that way, it was very well done. Applause!
But on the other hand, I felt that there were certain aspects that you didn't capture. It didn't really seem like Lilli was writing this, but rather someone pretending to be her (which is what you were doing, but that's beside the point). In other words, I didn't feel it. Something to make that aspect better was that in the book Lilli uses words from other languages for things on occasion, and I'm sure that you've seen that. You could've inserted that into your Journal entry. I hope you don't mind my criticism.
All in all, I think you did a wonderful job. Once again, applause.
Perhaps most of the children were able to begin successful lives but since Lilli's life is central to the story one can't help wondering how many others suffered like her. Mrs. Davidson's actions and words were especially hurtful to Liilli. What do you think about this issue?
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